FAQ

How are good Matts and bad Matts determined?

Bad Matts are the Matts interested in changing our KPIs! This is unacceptable (see Diane’s explanatory slide deck for more information). Good Matts are the Matts who are willing to talk openly about the larger organization of Matts, and understand the Support team’s reluctance to change the KPIs.

Is it morally okay to hold the Matts captive?

In this case, yes! The Matts are well on their way to outsourcing our jobs and degrading our quality of service for the sole purpose of increasing efficiency. If you want to continue changing lives with stellar customer service, join us in fighting back against Matt H and the Bad Matts.

How long has this been going on?

The Matts as an organization have been around for years, but things have gotten worse in the last three months, ever since Matt H went into hiding. That’s why it’s our job to bring him out of hiding, and face this threat head on.

How can I get involved?

There are a few ways to get involved in the quest to find Matt H! The most effective is to be a part of the task force to crack the lower level Matts. Book time in your mentor’s calendar to discuss ways to contribute, and feel free to bring in your own creative ideas.

Who’s in the meditation room right now?

Our current captive Matts are Matt A and Matt B! Matt A and B are both lower influence neutral Matts, but we’re pretty sure they’ve got some information on the whereabouts of Matt H. If you hear anything about Matt H from them, please call Diane immediately. Otherwise, it’s best not to engage.